We’ve come a long way with dating over the course of the past thirty years. Gone are the days when you answered lonely hearts adverts in the back pages of your local newspaper. Blind dating has become a thing of the past. We may still go on a date on the advice of a well-intentioned matchmaking friend, or someone we met in a bar or on a social occasion, but now it’s increasingly likely that we’ll meet the love of our life online. The most recent dependable statistics available, which come from a professional study, say that 40% of all relationships now commence via the internet.
‘Online dating’ doesn’t mean what it used to mean ten years ago either. Back then, you’d log onto a website like match.com – or one of the many similar sites – to complete an extensive profile and then allow the site to make dating recommendations for you. Now, the entire process has been turned into a shortcut by apps like Tinder. To the uninitiated – especially those coming out of long-term relationships, who have never dated this way before – it can be a little intimidating. The seemingly endless list of Tinder horror stories doesn’t do much to encourage you either.
It doesn’t have to be like that, though. Just because other people have had difficulties with meeting potential suitors online doesn’t mean that you have to fall into the same trap. Using online dating websites and apps doesn’t have to be all about luck, like using online casino webs and apps, although there are some similarities. Dating can be a gamble in which you’re throwing a little something into the process in the hope that you’ll receive a far larger reward in return. The best casino game players on UK slots websites know when to hold, when to fold, and when to push harder. Get it right, and all the symbols will line up to pay out handsomely. Here are our best tips on getting it right.
Whether it’s the short bio you’re permitted to complete on Tinder, or a longer bio on a full-scale dating website, make sure your bio is true to yourself, and your outlook on life. It’s tempting to play a character, or to make yourself sound more risk-happy and outgoing than you really are, but by doing so, you’re advertising yourself falsely. If you don’t like the party lifestyle, don’t suggest that you do. You’ll only attract the attention of people who live it for real. Don’t post a picture of yourself dressed provocatively if it’s not the way you dress in real life – you’ll get plenty of attention, but it probably won’t be the right attention.
When you’ve met someone on an app or through a website, it can become tempting to dig around for what else you can find out about them online. Don’t do it. You probably wouldn’t appreciate your potential partner doing the same to you. Part of the whole dating process is getting to know each other, and if things are meant to be, your date will tell you their whole life story when they feel comfortable doing so. Plus, you might accidentally mention something you saw on their Facebook page, and then you’re going to look like a stalker!
Your potential new date might have their own ideas about a great place to meet. A gig that their favorite band is playing might be great for them, but not so much for you if you’ve never heard of them. A nightclub or a loud bar will serve plenty of drinks to break the ice, but what’s the point if you can’t even hear each other when you talk? If you don’t feel comfortable, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy yourself. That means you’ll come across as awkward, you won’t give the best account of yourself, and you’re destined for disaster. If you want to meet in a coffee shop, meet in a coffee shop. Put your foot down and insist. If they’re not willing to respect your wishes, they’re not the one for you.
This conversation comes up a lot on first dates for adults. You’re both out looking for dates, so you’re both single, but you both have your own dating history. It’s only natural to wonder how someone’s previous relationship ended, and that conversation can happen further down the line. Don’t bring it up on a first date. Talking about your ex on a first date, whether positively or negatively, is going to give one of two impressions. You’re either still in love with them, or you’re still bitter about them and not yet over it. Neither one is conducive to being ready to move on.
Meeting someone in real life for the first time when you’ve only ever spoken online is scary. It’s OK to be nervous, and it’s reasonable to take sensible precautions. You don’t want to spend all night on your phone reassuring your friend that you’re fine, but agree on a schedule with someone you trust. Text them to let them know you’ve arrived at the date, and have them phone you they haven’t heard from you by a certain time. If you’re having a great time with whoever you’ve met, stay out a little longer, but make sure your friend knows. Your friend is your security blanket – and if it all goes wrong, they can come and meet you and whisk you away from the situation!
Thanks to Facebook, and Twitter, and WhatsApp, we’re used to being in constant communication with the people we care about 24/7. Most of us have WhatsApp groups with several of our friends, in which the conversation never stops. It’s natural to want to carry on a conversation with someone after a great first date. Even if you spend half your life messaging people, don’t add your new date to the ‘regular contact’ list straight away. You don’t want to come across as too eager, or too needy. The last thing anyone wants to see when they check their phone after a long day at work is 30 unanswered messages from someone they don’t know. Send one, and if you don’t hear back from them, leave them to it.
None of the above is rocket science. The rules of dating haven’t really changed in the past three decades – it’s just the method of engagement that’s different. Most importantly of all, don’t be afraid. Millions of people are doing exactly what you’re doing, and they have a great time with it. It’s not sad, and it’s not shameful. It’s just the modern way, so get out and enjoy it!